When we are talking to each other, our communication can serve many purposes. Comraderie, consolation,support,love. And just as important sometimes are the things that are unsaid. When someone close to me is berating or criticizing me, oft times I want to fight back. To fight dirty. To tell them things that I know would hurt them. This is the way I was brought up to fight.
It is hard and even painful sometimes to hold back the words. To allow them the chance to finish their thought, to actually process what they are saying instead of being busy answering them in my own head. I have discovered that,for me, pausing a beat and letting them complete their sentences actually gives me time to think about what they have said. Often if I am completely honest there will be a kernel of truth in their words. If I am always busy thinking up a comeback or an answer, I can not be open to learning and growing.
It is hard for me to take criticism. Even when it's "constructive". And let me tell you ~ no matter how it is couched, criticism still rubs me the wrong way. I want to bat it right back at the person! Tit for tat.
My sister told me something that I use to guide my words most of the time: :Honesty without compassion is brutality. I would rather use my words compassionately than cause harm.
