The days of fall are finally upon us. At least my calendar is saying that. In truth, it is still hot as a jalapeno pepper and our pool is still open but the school buses run by regularly and Target is out of college ruled paper.
Our youngest daughter has started her senior year of high school. At the first assembly, all the four year seniors sat on the stage. I was struck by two things. One was that I actually knew each of the girls by name and two how absolutely gorgeous my child looked. I say that objectively. At almost six feet with her black Irish complexion and stunning walk, she is a vision. I was really proud of her and her classmates. After my husband stopped sniffling, I could actually hear the speeches of welcome that the headmaster and president gave.
This is our last child at home. While she is anxiously starting her college apps and working on her classroom skills for the coming future, my DH (dear husband) and I are finally admitting that it is just us now. The whole process of this transition started a little over five years ago when we dropped our eldest off at college in Austin (yes,Texas). We decided that we didn't want to end up as one of those couples who parts ways once all the kids are out of the house. Since DH is an engineer by trade, we of course, had to have a five year plan.
So we started taking vacations by ourselves once a year. Nothing fancy,just a week away. Two years ago we were lucky enough to be able to purchase a beach house (3 rd row ~ don't get too excited) which was the culmination of a long term plan. And we started marriage counseling so that we would be on the same page when this time finally did come.
I have to say that for the most part, this transition doesn't feel as wrenching as when our older daughter left. We have had six years to get use to this idea. I know that my husband has been in complete denial since 2007 but I am doing okay. I have started to try out new things (golf) and go back to past loves (horseback riding). Except for a few glitches here and there, I think I am doing okay.
I tell my friends and the people that ask that "you will be okay". And the reality is that you can't stop this transition. You just hope and pray that you gave them the basic safety,emotional and physical skills they need to survive. I am very proud of my children. They are good,solid,thoughtful people. Although we don't always agree and we often voice that, I love them very much. They are a good example of what we are all transitioning to ~ the future.
Yes, I can sure relate Deb. I had no idea that Susan had grown to be so tall. I remember her as a little girl...it's been too long since we have seen you all.
ReplyDeleteYou were wise to think and plan ahead for the emptying of your nest. I was not that productive although the purchase of my horse was definately timed to coincide with Keira's moving to campus.
I have been in denial like your hubby. Doug and I have never been alone so I am not always confident that this transition will be beneficial. Our drive up to campus with a loaded down car will occur next week...just hoping that security won't have to be called to shoo me away after dropping her off.
I think we will both be 'okay' but dealing with menopause and the end of childrearing at the same time is going to be a challenge for not only us but those connected to us. Watch out Face Book, some tearful status updates are sure to be posted.